Albino Blacksheep » Text Files » Honest Resume

 Honest Resume by AB (Sners)

Today, the job hunt is difficult and impersonal. Job Searches online are vast databases of resumes that search for particular keywords rather than the old fashined job hunt of getting to introduce yourself to an employer in person. So, to be sure that my resume gets noticed by the job search databases, I have included a well-written honest resume that will certainly be picked up by the automated process and land me a great job.

Name: Albino bin Blacksheepstienbergskioff MacChu O'Hungson

Object: To earn a full time and high paying job on the grounds that this resume was accepted into automated job finder program without the aid of a human reader.
Education: At the University of Toronto's bus stop realised I earned just enough allowance from my mother to add up enough bus change. PhD, MA, BA and BSc are nonsensical words that I mumbled while shivering in the bitter cold while I waited for what seemed like 6 years.
Since childhood I studied the works of famous Doctors like Dr. Suess, Dr. Who and Dr. Dre. I am currently observing the sequel of another doctor's successful first practice, Dr. Dolittle part 2.
In high school I was the class valedictorian's friend. As well as the president of the student body's punching bag.
I was the teacher's petroleum supplier once while she stopped for gas where I was working as a Gas Station Attendant as some sort of slave detention program she came up with.
I am clearly straight and A student
Skills: Can type on average 100 words per minute in chat rooms since the letters L and O are so close together lol lol.
I am a people person in the literal sense.
I am dependable on my parents.
I work well. With others, not so well.
Experienced with downloading software such as Windows, Excel, Word, Lotus Notes, Photoshop and Windows Notepad.
A notable and documented record of being intoxicated in public. Speaking of which I am well-known and famous for among close circles of college friends and disappointed family members.

(c) 2004

This resume and its results are a work in progress. Last updated: November 17, 2004.