Albino Blacksheep » Text Files » J-Dogg

 J-Dogg by J-Dogg

QT-Pie: Hey

Jdogg: whats goin on

QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you?

Jdogg: Jdogg. Wanna cyber?

QT-Pie: what does that mean?

Jdogg: what are you wearing?

QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans.

Jdogg: Garter belt?


Jdogg: Are we gonna cyber or not?

QT-Pie: uh, okay.

Jdogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.

Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your stink from here.

QT-Pie: WHAT?!

Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.

Jdogg: You leave everything to jdogg.

Jdogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dik puppet. I put on a little play.

QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go.

Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.

QT-Pie: A stripe?

Jdogg: I need a sandwich.

QT-Pie: You're a freak.

Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

J-Dogg: Wanna cyber?

Katey69: Sure, you into vegetables?

J-Dogg: What like gardening an shiat?

Katey69: Yeah, something like that.

J-Dogg: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out

J-Dogg: You bend over to harvest your radishes.


Katey69: is that it?

J-Dogg: You water your tomato patch.

J-Dogg: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

Katey69: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?


J-Dogg: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.

J-Dogg: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.

Katey69: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

J-Dogg: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

J-Dogg: Damn baby your right, this shiat is HOT.

Katey69 ...

J-Dogg: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.

J-Dogg: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.

Katey69: whatever.

Mandy4u26: Yeah I'm here.

J-Dogg: You ready?

Mandy4u26: Okay.

J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt.

Mandy4u26: Cowboy boots?

J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots.

Mandy4u26: okay...

J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby.

Mandy4u26: Whats that smell?

J-Dogg: Rotting toes.

Mandy4u26: Ummm...

J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat.

Mandy4u26: ...

J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes...

J-dogg: Your pretty funny

DirtyKate: I don't remember you.. but thanx

J-dogg: Wanna cyber?

DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)

DirtyKate: Who are you?

J-dogg: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.

J-dogg: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's

DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

J-dogg: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order

DirtyKate: Haha! OK

DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

J-dogg: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?

DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!

J-dogg: Is this a delivery?

DirtyKate: Umm...Yes

DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...

J-dogg: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.


DirtyKate: Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!

J-dogg: You can't hurry good pizza.

J-dogg: I'm on my way now though


DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.

J-dogg: How did you know?

J-dogg: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.

J-dogg: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven

DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby

J-dogg: So you're still in the bathroom?

DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.

J-dogg: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....

DirtyKate: wtf?

DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shiat

DirtyKate: Fuk

J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...

Partner6: WTF?!

J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!

J-Dogg: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.

Partner: mmmm, okay.

J-Dogg: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

Partner: Yeah I like it rough.

J-Dogg: I smack you thick booty.

Partner: Oh yeah, that feels good j.

J-Dogg: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.

J-Dogg: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

Partner: you like that?

J-Dogg: I peel some bananas.

Partner: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?

J-Dogg: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.

Partner: Peanuts?

J-Dogg: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.

Partner: What are you talking about?

J-Dogg: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Partner: This is stupid.

J-Dogg: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.

J-Dogg: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?

J-Dogg: Yeeaahhhh.

Partner: /ignore

J-Dogg: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.

J-Dogg: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.