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 Hamlet Test by Albino Blacksheep team

This is a real test given in a high school grade 12 advanced English class. See if you can pass.


1.Read all questions before beginning to answer any of them.
2.Do not write on the questions sheet.
3.Refrain from making loud noises during the test.


1. Have you ever noticed how, in Shakespear's plays, when people say they have seen a ghost, they usually did? Were people more reliable in those days? Were ghosts?

2. How long can you discuss Rosenkrantz without mentioning Guildenstern, and vise versa?

3. What did Queen Gertrude see in King Claudius?

4. Where did Polonius spend his time when he was not skulking behind the arras.

5. Consider the effect on Ophelia's future if she had known how to swim.

6. Which is the most horrible line in the play? Not counting; of course, "O, horrible! O, horrible! Most horrible!" (I,v,80)

[Yorick] 7. Would it give you cosmic relief to hold in your hands the skull of an old friend? Protractors may NOT be used to answer this question.

8. "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark" Which do you think this statement refers to?
    a)Polonius' timing
    b)Gertrude's taste in wines
    c)Hamlet's luck
    d)Laerte's swordmanship

9. Consider the king's request, "Come Hamlet, come and take this hand from me," followed by the stage direction: "The king puts Laerte's hand into Hamlet's." (V, ii, 213) Isn't this a little gruesome? "Maybe" is not a reasonable answer but graph paper may be used.

10. Ultimately, did Polonius suffer from constipation or not? (A medical certificate is not required to answer but a note from home would help.)

NOTE - If you got this far without laughing, please see your doctor immediately. You are probably brain dead!