Geezers and Foagies

Sinatra:

You're mean to me
Why must you be mean to me?
Gee, baby, it seems to me
You love to see me cryin'

Jamie:

Sit down and shut up
Shut your mouth (Gah)
Having some great conversation with the elderly/
Discussing muffin mixes, this lady got pissed and yelled at me (I hate you)/
I let her know that's really not the mood to exude/
We can get into something heavy, I'm one bad dude/
You don't know me foagie, I creep slowly from the back/
Stop yellin', wedgie Melvin stretched up to your neck/
It depends on my mood, it all depends/
Some diaper humour, pun intended joke for your friends/
Listen lady, you're gettin' sort of crazy tonight/
After I feed you and clean, then we can take it to mics/
And I'm 'a rip some vicious renditions, crackin' your bones/
Take some calcium, I'm pouncing, you should've left me alone/
Get the full treatment, defeated, blowin' you out/
Shred to pieces like Cap'n Crunch does the roof of your mouth/
What now? I'm blitzin' this senior citizen bold/
Stop and stare, break your rockin' chair 'cause I'm cold/

Chorus:

Foagies and geezers
Geezers and foagies
Sit down, eat your jell-o
It's better than being homeless
Foagies, geezers
Geezers, foagies
Murder She Wrote

Boney:

Me and Jamie, workin' at the rest home where your grammy stayed/
Graveyard shift, baby, time for the panty raid/
Anyways, I've been working here a while now/
And my dad owns the place, so you know I can wil' out/
Don't push me Ethel, just sit and eat your lunch/
'Cause talkin' back on my shift gon' get a geezer punched/
You think I'm playin' wi' chu? Sit your old butt down/
And when your kids come around, don't let me catch no frowns/
Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me catch no frowns/
Check the name badge, granny, you're in my world now/
It's 2am, I've got a baby wipe in my hand/
I gotta use it on a naked 99 year old man/
Before I gets done, he lets one 'cause he's nervous /
Oh Sam, c'mon man, I know you did that on purpose/
Laugh it up funny man, till it's time for the get back/
I'll take your heart pills and replace them with Tic Tacs/

Chorus:

Foagies and geezers
Geezers and foagies
Sit down, watch TV
It's better than being homeless
Quincy, Matlock
Benson, Golden Girls
Barnaby Jones

Jamie:

You old prune, let's play a game of bag tag/
Me punching your saggy boobs while you get sad/
You droopy old piece of used blubbery flab/
It's a party of two; me and you, you old hag/

Norma:

Please don't push me down in my nightgown/

Jamie:

Well, how's an overnight trip to the balcony sound?/

Norma:

Sounds cold, wet, damp and dank/

Jamie:

Here's the form, Norma, you can file a complaint/

Boney:

Yeah, we heard that little rumour that you spread to the staff/
We all took it as humour, all we did was just laugh/
You know, that craftmatic bed could prolly bend you in half/
And I could just forget to even give you a bath/
And I could just forget to even give you a bath/
And I could just forget to even give you a bath/

Jamie:

Yeah, funny, huh? Yeah, yeah.

Norma:

All I, all I wanted, all I wanted was my persimmon cookies.

Jamie:

Yeah, that's it, cookies. Yeah, that's what this is over, cookies.

Norma:

I just, I don't want...

Jamie:

Huh, how's it feel now?

Norma:

I don't wanna go in the closet. Oh! Aah!
This is a bunch of malarky!
Where's my persimmon cookies?
Wa-ah!
I'm cold.

Sinatra:

You treat me coldly

Norma:

I get confused so easily.

Sinatra:

Each day in the year

Norma:

I'm lonely.

Sinatra:

You always scold me whenever somebody is near
It must be great fun to be mean to me
You shouldn't...
You shouldn't...