What's your name?
I'm Fred the Beard

Why, I ain't never seen a beard with a name like Fred

Hello, Fred the Beard

Where do you grow?
I grow on your face

Why, I ain't never grown a beard on my face named Fred

Hello, Fred the Beard

What if I shaved?
Then I would die

Well, I gotta shave now Fred the Beard
Well, goodbye

Hello, Fred the Beard

I'm Fred the beard