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May 2003 >

Welcome to my masturbatorium!   May 26, 2003

[Click me, baby]

Not too long after the Star Wars Kid tape was found and distributed across the Internet, a remix was made:

The first 64kb Video I showed you was The Product.

Enjoy another 64kb Video:

Poem To A Horse Fiver2

[Take this bus to Cuba] From my window I can see a huge hill upon which is a girl's house who I dated for almost 4 weeks. She had 3 glass eyes (one was a spare) and it used to amuse me to hold her nose when she sneezed so her eyes would pop out. The novelty wore off when one Winter's night my dog caught one and ran off. Nice girl though. -norton
This and other answers to the Hamlet Test.

Someone read The AIM Officer text file from before, and decided to submit a followup:

OneSlime is one of the best Java games out there. Don't forget, there's also a two player version:

[Click me, baby]For those of you who have been following my very serious advice about my fast food outings, I have discovered some new news. Do not, under any circumstances purchase the Big New Yorker at Pizza Hut. It is a rip off. It is the biggest and smallest pizza at the same time. 16 Inches wide and two dollars cheaper than their smallest pizza. So what's the catch? There's barely anything on it, and I'd say it's as flat as a pancake, but it's even flatter then that. It's as flat as a CD. Spend the extra $2 to $4 and get a normal Pizza Hut Pizza. One that's not so thin that you could look though it.

Questions? Concerns? Panic Attacks? All will be handled at The Forum

Bill Cosby rules again   May 21, 2003

[Click me, baby]

Since I posted Kid's Songs Volume 2, I've been requested to post more fat kids dancing. Don't mean to turn this site into the Internet's home videos, Bob Saget, but I'll start with this one:
Star Wars Kid

What's better? 3D Pong or Curveball:

Do you have a licence to sell tonic to bald eagles in Omaha, Nebraska? Porky Pig does.

Oopdate   May 17, 2003

[Thanks Billyballer]

It's funny because he's fat:

Pepper   May 15, 2003

[Invader Zim] Miss Pepper submitted a flash movie (via the Forum) that she made as a tribute to all those weird Japanese flash movies and other content you see on this site and on the Japanese parts of the web - including 2Chan, you know Chinco, Kikkoman, Ladiemon, To Heart, etc. Now, this movie is 4MB, and has some known routing problems, so if it does not work today, try again later (it will not work for 33% of viewers):

Dopefish   May 12, 2003

[Stop looking at my secret alt tags!]

You are going to have to trust me when I put up EXE files.

One hit Wonders - The Cheeky Girls!
Quick! Now! Before it's impossible to find their butchered English music and revealing videos.

I'm sure you are all familiar with the Iraq Most Wanted Deck Of Cards. Well, now they got US Heroes Playing Cards. It's got G Bush as the Ace of Spades and then all the people under him and all these descriptions on the cards. They say these cards are a collector's item, but screw that. It's way more fun actually playing with them - especially if you got a good hand and call, "Wham! G Dawg and the Secretary of Defense beat your loser hand anyday. I'm thinking of maybe getting a game of Gin Rummy together which is a double deck game and mixing the US Military Cards with the Iraq ones.

[Filet-O-Fish]McDonald's has something here like a $1 US / $1.69 CDN Food Item of the Day menu. I have gone on four different days. Each day, the item was Filet-O-Fish. Even though there are 7 items, one for each day of the week, here is how everyday is Filet-O-Fish day:

Filet-O-Fish Day is has no official day according to the ad on their website. Of the 7 items, none of them are Filet-O-Fish, and here's the Proof. You may notice the asterisks on their Chicken Sandwich indicated, "Sandwich may vary". This is a lie since it's ALWAYS Filet-O-Fish, hence, it never varies.

In this particular week that I went 4 times, Filet-O-Fish day seemed to float around Friday. Now, if you visit McDonald's on Friday you will get a Filet-O-Fish special thrown at you. If you visit at 2am on Saturday Morning, that can be considered late Friday, so you'll get the Filet-O-Fish deal thrown at you. If you visit very late on Thursday (McNugget Day), about 11pm or so, you'll get the Filet-O-Fish deal thrown at you because it's so late it may as well be Friday. They refused to give out McNuggets for $1.69 as listed on the menu when I went. As everyone knows, McNuggets are the least gross of all McDonald's foods. I am urging all my readers not to put up with this. Feel free to demand another deal that is not the Filet-O-Fish one. You've seen Fight Club, you don't want McDonald's nasty white sauce. Do not accept the Filet-O-Fish special if you order the special of the day.

... And the name. Filet-O-Fish? Mixing French, Irish and English into one hyphenated word? You don't have to put up with this. Don't let bad judgment take over. Now you know the facts, so leave and eat some real food:

_ Nutrition Facts McDonald's

Silence!!!   May 9, 2003

These last two updates were not so well. I should probably look at these updates before posting them. I hope the next update shall silence the critics.

Booyaka!   May 8, 2003

[They look so god-damned much like the same person.] Booyaka!

Oh, there's been maybe 5 Flash Movies called ABC Song before, including ABC Song by Bucketmouse and ABC Song by Threebrain, but I think you'll like this ABC Song by Adapt Nihei the best.

Another Quickie   May 5, 2003

[My spares] Sorry for another short update, but you can be certain big ones are coming soon.

Hey, for those of you who are big fans of Kikkoman, the Banana and Shrimp have their own movie:

Sites of the day: