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Guestpost by Norton   September 22, 2001

This post by Dr. Norton:

[Watch out Jesus.  Owl at 12 O'Clock.] now that ive actually got around to doing an update i cant think of anything to say. *no suprise there*, whos that? *who me?* yes you?...*oh just ignore me*, what do u mean just ignore you? who are you?.
*im god* lol god? lolol yeah right. *no really, im him* yeah yeah. *right ill prove it* go ahead. *can we talk in a more conventional way?* ok.

god: ok better
norton: yes, so prove youre god then
god: right... yes well...
norton: well
god: oh i just am him, youll just have to belive me
norton: why would god want to talk to me anyway?
god: i was just bored, its no fun being all knowing all seeing all day.
lucifer: tell me about it
norton: eh?
god: oh hi lucifer a/s/l?
norton: hang on hang on, lucifer as in...erm red fire hell etc?
lucifer: yeah yeah, thats me... and hi god, im endless/sexless/hell
god: nice, wanna pc?
lucifer: ok
norton: hey!

norton: hello?

norton: well thats just great, leave me on my own, see if i care
allah: youre not on your own
norton: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH


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You eat what?   August 31, 2001

Hope you enjoyed the flying sheep yesterday.

Nokia Cellphone - You eat baby monkey fetus? Flash Movie by Albino Blacksheep

[Wasp] Our site member Dr. norton is either suffering from "mental illness" or wrote his own perscription (read below):

Re: the obvious lack of vowels
Reply #13 on: August 29th, 2001, 3:51am
----------------

see, i was going to do one of them bunny stories but i got distracted by a wasp which for 2 days now has been sitting on the wall just by my head. you would think it would have something much more important to do, other than sit watch me doing next to no work. anyway

Re: the obvious lack of towels
Reply #14 on: August 29th, 2001, 4:05am
-----------------

Ah HA
i have confronted the aforementioned wasp. it seems he was under some confusion as to who i was. on hearing i was norton he promptly flew from his position and buzzzed out the window. mystery solved.

I got this from a site that got it from arcaholics: New Math

MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
Click here for more New Math

Nokia Cellphone - You eat baby monkey fetus? Flash Movie by Albino Blacksheep


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Bipolar Lesbian.   August 26, 2001

Kristin the Bipolar Lesbian (Part 1) MY flash movie by ME that I made on MY computer using MacroMEdia Flash 5. (THE MOVIE HAS BEEN UPDATED)
Scatman! Dee ba da ba dee da dee bah dah. by WhItEpEeMp - a partner member.

IHateYouAll1313: kl;'
IHateYouAll1313: z
AlbinoBlacksheep: wow
IHateYouAll1313: 7890-= 1234
IHateYouAll1313: XCVBNM<>
AlbinoBlacksheep: |b |kh
IHateYouAll1313: QWERTY
IHateYouAll1313: ASDFG
IHateYouAll1313: ZXCVBNM< >?
IHateYouAll1313: _+-=
AlbinoBlacksheep: |b |kh
IHateYouAll1313: `~"{}

[cute!] Warning! The bouncing sheep are coming to this site sometime this week. They will be online for a short while. A full day at the most. These sheep will only be a warning to show you how serious we can get.

Reply #12 on: August 26th, 2001, 3:25am
norton: when, of course i say my 4 visits i do indeed mean me and my 3 freinds visits to ur site. hope this clears up any confusion.

Little Red Monkee
Weeeeee, but you ain't got drugs yet.
Way of the Bullet.
How stick people became extinct.


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Kristin the Bipolar Lesbian Flash Movie.   August 25, 2001

Kristin the Bipolar Lesbian MY flash movie by ME that I made on MY computer using MacroMEdia Flash 5. (based on yesterday's post)

Reply #10 on: August 23rd, 2001, 4:49pm
If I got 699 individual unique visitors that day I would put back the flying sheep, but I got 703.

Reply #11 on: August 24th, 2001, 4:54am
id like to withdraw my 4 visits from the day in question

Sorry doctor, but no one was counted twice, nor 4 times in the same day. Nice try though. Just because you have a PhD. doesn't mean you can outsmart me.


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Dr. Norton the Inventor genious.   August 24, 2001

bunnyavenger14: ok
bunnyavenger14: the quote is
bunnyavenger14: yeah my mom said my appendix exploded but i was in a mental institution
bunnyavenger14: k?
AlbinoBlacksheep: that's the quote?
bunnyavenger14: yes
AlbinoBlacksheep: it's very weird
bunnyavenger14: i know
bunnyavenger14: its from kristin the bipolar lesbian
AlbinoBlacksheep: who's that?
bunnyavenger14: my friend who was in an institution
AlbinoBlacksheep: for real?
bunnyavenger14: yes

Dr. norotn's inventions:

As requested here are my nominations for the best new inventions for the home:

1. The Mexican Shoe Horn.
The so called Mexican shoe horn is more like a snake on wheels than an actual shoe horn, but the snakes assure me it's not deadly. How it helps you with your shoes is a bit of a mystery, but where this handy gadget wins is with its useful rattle type tail for warning you when theres a mouse in your shoe, or something. 6/10

2. The Arse Bandit.
Not as its name sugests, a machine for stealing arses, but it's a very handy garden spade. With a sort of bent handle and deep shaft, it's ideal for all uphill gardeners. 8/10

3. Inflatable Alan.
The winner by a long way in my opinion. Imagine you are alone. Maybe its night time. Maybe its dark... Was that an owl? Whose at the door? *Scared*... Well be scared no more with Inflatable Alan, a full size inflatable dog that can ward off all sorts of things from your door with its realisting dog type sayings. (Includes, "Thats my stick", "I need a bitch", and other faves). Fully guarenteed to confuse any witches trying to steal your milk in the night.

Dr. norton, those are brilliant.

[Bunny Slippers] Have you ever looked at buny slippers? I mean, have you really ever looked at bunny slippers? The person who wears them looks like they stepped on some bunnies and made them flat! How tragic!
Don't click here to buy these bunny slippers or you will be promoting squishing poor bunnies.


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Norton & the obvious lack of owls   August 9, 2001

the obvious lack of owls
on: August 8th, 2001, 6:41am

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello erm...mr albinoperson, id like to strongly complain about the lack of owl and owl related features on this web site. Not only was i quite upset at this but my 6 year old boy (an owl mad fan) threw a god awfull temper tantrum which ended in a grounding of 2 days. harsh? maybe but youve got to get them while there young or its curtains for this country in the next war. i mean, in my day you had to join up, do your time, none of this lazing about that you youngsters get away with today, i mean, stakeboarding...i mean...i remember when all this was fields and for fun we used to play with dead dogs... erm... where was i? oh yes, owls, right then...owls, so get more, infact rename this site albinoblackowl or ill break your legs. yours in anticipation, norton (dr)

SHOW ME THE CRASHES

web page..erm

well lets see...erm..:
OWLS
right..owls

[Owl] oh look a picture!:


so yes
owls


erm... its even a great word
O W L


anyway what else is on here?
well not much
im lazy


really though, serious for a min

owls are great
i mean, u ever heard one... ROAR sort of thing...what with that and the teeth, i mean, its no wonder they were hunted...
(this may be wrong)

This post thanks to norton. :)


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